Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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