I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize