Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
