every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
