The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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