a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
