You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
