He uses pillows to masturbate.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
