is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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