What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize