He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize