Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
