You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
