You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
