we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
