My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
