so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
