You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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