"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
