she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
