Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
