The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
