you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
