This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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