He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
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I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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