So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It's just like the Real World with babies
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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