I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
we should paint friendship bongs
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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