Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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