It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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