Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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