my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
40s are totally the cure
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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