You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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