You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
