Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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