if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
