I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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