The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
