Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
