I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
