You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
