did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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