May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
