I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
