Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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