i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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