Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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