Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
