I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
