no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
