Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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