return my video game
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Omg I joined a choir last night...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
