Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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