this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
