ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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