In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
