Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
