Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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