fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
