Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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